I’m walkin’ on sunshine

I’ve decided to save the upcoming sequels to The Flashing for a later date, lest all this testicle and anal bead talk make me appear less than lady-like. Instead, and in the spirit of my upcoming birthday, I’ve decided to share a recently rejected Mean Card. (see above) Strangely, not everything I create is solid gold.

You see, I developed an instant fascination with huffing (glue, paint, gasoline, what have you…) after I saw an episode of the television show Intervention on A&E. The episode featured a young woman ad
dicted to inhaling cans of computer monitor cleaner--she was a wreck.

It was truly one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever witnessed, and the idea just sort of stuck in my craw. For a minute there, I thought it’d make a nice birthday card. I figured I write something on the inside like this:

Upon further reflection, and I hate to be so business-business--so bottom-line, I just don’t feel there’s adequate demand for huffing-related greeting cards. It’s a very niche market.

And, I don’t know, it seems a bit cold--even for Mean Cards. Despite appearances, I’m actually quite sensitive to the feelings of others. Perhaps the horror of addiction is best left without my ridicule.

Finally, there’s the whole “damnation” thing. If there is a Hell, it could potentially put me one step closer to it. Who wants to spend eternity with the likes of murderers, people who made fun of Scott from American Idol, and pedophiles?

So…Happy Birthday to me.


  1. Holy Crap. I saw that episode! Too bad the card didn't make the cut. I would so spend my hard earned $ on it! Tcha. Corporate types eh? Never know what's truly comedy genius.

  2. I'm so excited I found your site and blog! I'm still crying from laughing after reading your cards. I could give each and everyone to so many "friends and family". And the huffing greeting card niche market may be on the edge of exploding...you just never know!

  3. Just found your cards. Love them! They made my day. Kim